


Eren

by CleverImaginativeFluff



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'll add more tags along the way, Kinda, M/M, Tags to be added, curse words, fucking bitch ass cunt dickbag, i cuss a lot, only time will show, so many side ships, this probably end up as ereri if i get that far, v angst just saying, ya know if i'll continue this disaster...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleverImaginativeFluff/pseuds/CleverImaginativeFluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's life as told by everyone but Eren. (modern au)<br/>Stories of Eren as told by a first person narrative of his friends and family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Karla - dress up aka happiest memory of Eren

**Author's Note:**

> i've been meaning to write a story like this for a while, but lets see how far I'll make it with it. the good thing about this is that i can stop any time i please B)

It’s Halloween and I’m taking my son shopping.

Last year he wanted to be Mulan, but Grisha told him no. Mulan is a girl and Eren is a boy so he can’t be her. Eren responded with childish exasperation that he knew that very well but it was only dress up. He didn’t want to be a girl he was just pretending.

Last year Eren was dressed as the incredible hulk and he cried the green face paint off twice before Grisha told him to man up. That night I slept on the couch, despite his not entirely sincere apologies. This year _I’m_ taking him shopping for a costume.

 

Three Sundays back Grisha had to work early because they got a kidney in at the hospital, so Eren and I decided in secret to skip church. Just this once I said, and Eren nodded excitedly with big curious eyes looking up at me. What ever could one do home alone on a Sunday ?

“But we can still dress up pretty, like for church ?” He asked. Funnily enough dressing up and seeing me dress up, were the only things he ever enjoyed about church and Sunday school, I personally found it quite boring, though perhaps that was by association.

“Sure darling, whatever you wanna do today.”

I have a picture in my wallet now, my new favourite and it’s from that day. Eren is wearing my pretty pastel green summer dress, the one with the pink roses near the bottom, and Grisha’s granma’s expensive pearls and my red high heels and matching lipstick, which he insisted on putting on himself, so it got all smudged, and he's wearing golden eyeshadow because mommy’s eyes are like gold and he wanted to be like me. My heart swelled with pride. And on his head he is balancing a potted plant because we didn’t have any hats with flowers in them. My beautiful boy looked so happy. The last time I saw him smile like that was when his cousin Mikasa offered to switch his G.I. Joe for her Barbie and they played wedding afterwards. I want to make him that happy every day.

So today we are going shopping for fancy dress.

But Eren is not as excited about going shopping as he usually is. He looks nervous and uncomfortable. But he has been looking forward to Halloween all year…

In the shop I tell him he can be anything he wants and he looks at me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes before he looks towards the girls costume section and then the boys. He’s unsure.

“But daddy said I can’t be a princess and that he likes Spiderman better than Mulan because he’s a clever scientist like daddy.”

For a moment, I can feel my hands ball up into fists as I’m overtaken by anger towards my husband. But I swallow it down for Eren’s sake and smile, “Oh dear boy, don’t pay your daddy any mind. You don’t have to be what he wants you to be, you just have to be you, and if you like Mulan better, then you dress as Mulan.”

That small glimmer of hope I saw before is replaced by an inferno of excitement and happiness. He jumps up in the air once with a squeal before he disappears down the aisle of princess dresses to find his favourite.

That night I don’t sleep on the couch but in Eren’s room with him. He’s sleeping in his Mulan outfit and Grisha is in his office. Neither of us return to the bedroom until after Halloween. But Eren shone like a thousand suns when he and his friends went out trick or treating and Mikasa who was a knight vowed to look after the princess and he blushed and kissed her cheek and Mikasa pretended she didn’t like it but she was as happy as I was.


	2. Karla - goodbye aka Karla's last memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karla and Grisha talk  
> "goodbye" is a v misleading title as they don't really get one i think, but o wel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****TRIGGER WARNING:*****  
> Karla dies

I’ve been looking at photo albums almost every day for the past week now. Eren brings them over together with Grisha. He says things like “we brought you more memories,” and “dad and I found this one too,” but I know he’s lying. There is no ‘we’ between him and his father these days, he just doesn’t want me to think mine. At the looks of it you’d think it was Grisha who was terminal. He hasn’t shaved for four days and stubble is turning to beard. He is devastated and I’m afraid and Eren doesn’t understand any of it, he just wants mommy to smile more again and daddy to stop being weird all the time. And I’m so afraid.

I’ve been looking back at all our photographs, all our memories, and Grisha is slowly fading out of them. He and I are still together in plenty of them, but him and Eren are not. I’m so afraid of what I’ll leave behind. I don’t think Grisha can make Eren happy and I think he’ll take my death very heavily. I think a bit of him will die with me once I go, and I’m afraid he won’t be there for Eren when he needs him. He can’t abandon my darling, I won’t have it. I can’t bear it.

I’ve lived in the hospital for the past week now, and I’ve been alone a lot. Grisha can’t look at me like this. He can’t watch me die and I don’t blame him, no one wants to witness the love of their life wither and parish, but I am getting a bit lonely. I think that maybe he doesn’t want Eren to watch me die either and that’s why they haven’t been here today. I hope that’s why.

I texted Grisha and asked him to come over. With Eren.

 

Eren is happy to see me, but he is also sad to see what I’ve become, a shadow of my old self. I can hardly sit up and hug him on my own anymore. Tears are welling up in his big beautiful eyes and before they well over I ask him to come lie down with me for a while, and he does and he buries his face in my hair and cries while I try to hold him. Grisha looks lost. He looks upset, and confused and scared and like he wants to cry too. He looks a lot like Eren. In all the 15 years of our marriage, I’ve seen him cry two times. When I walked down the aisle and he surreptitiously wiped away a few tears and when Eren was born.

I beckon him over to us. He sits on a chair next to me and takes the hand I haven’t wrapped around our son and squeezes it a little too tightly.

“I love you, Karla,” he says as sincerely as ever. I’ve never been in doubt and always loved him right back with a feeling of contentment and bliss. Grisha Jaeger loves me and I was proud and happy. Grisha Jaeger loves me and I am afraid of the future. I fear that his love for me will become our son’s burden. But damn I love him too.

I can feel my eyes starting to water but I don’t cry, “I love you too, Grisha.”

Eren sobs. Grisha cries quietly, squeezing my skinny cold hand. Both of his hands are so big, and warm and full of the life he has to live without me. I think this is our goodbye.

Eventually Eren stops sobbing and falls asleep. I ask Grisha to take him away for a moment, have a nurse watch him. We need to talk. He carries him outside and comes back in shortly. I ask him to sit down and he chooses the same chair as before. He looks afraid. I think he knows what this conversation will be about. I can feel my temper rising as he sits there looking scared out of his mind, but I swallow it down, now is not the time.

“Grisha I want to talk to you about Eren while we still can.” The look in his eyes. I was right, he knew. I take a break from talking to calm down so I want spend my last remaining strength on an argument.

“I think you know, but we’ve never talked about it openly before, which has been a mistake, but Eren is gay.” Anger flashes across his face. He wants to argue, but I raise my hand to silence him, then regret briefly occupy his features before they settle on embarrassment and he takes my hand in apology, and stroke it lovingly.

“He is our son, Grisha, and I can’t die at peace with you before you tell me that you will love and support him just the same whether he decides to wear a suit or a dress, work as a lawyer or doctor or as a stylist or party planner, whether he marries a man or a woman. I need you to tell me that you’ll put his happiness first, no matter what you think of his choices.” So many words, I’m a bit out of breath, how sad…

He looks down. Silence. I know he saw the passion burning in my eyes like it hasn’t done since before I got sick, but will he understand ?

“Karla…” He sounds resigned, not at all accepting. I curl my hands up into fists out of anger. Don’t you do this to me, Grisha Jaeger !

“I know Eren is… Special, but don’t you think it’s a bit too early to decide if he’s gay ? And even so, there are treatments for that sort of deflection these days. He doesn’t have to throw his life away, he can still be happy with a good woman and a normal going about.”

I pull my hand away from his touch immediately and cover the bottom half of my horrified face with it.

“How can you say something so cruel about our own son ?” Grisha looks frustrated, hurt and angry.

“I could ask the same of you.”

I shake my head in profound disappointment. “We should have made our different beliefs clear to each other before we got married.” I almost spit it out, wheezing. I’m fully aware of the hidden meaning of that sentence, and I know I’m overreacting, but I am so enraged and upset. I don’t regret it straight away and the look on Grisha’s face, like I just burned him, doesn’t make me regret the implication my statement carried any more or less.

After a few seconds of silence, Grisha speaks up. His voice is shaking from anger and his eyes look savage. “You’re right,” he says, and after a second it hits me what he’s saying and then I regret everything and I cry. Grisha turns his back to me, hiding his face and I sob.*

“Please,” I gasp. The crying and sobbing has me exhausted, I’m heaving for breath, “take care of him, make him smile, make him happy.”

Grisha sighs, “I’ll bring him back tomorrow for you,” he sounds so tired, so worn out, resigned. I sob again.

“I love you, Karla,” he says and never before have I doubted him. I’m heart broken. After my family leaves, I write two letters for Eren and one for Grisha and look at our pictures from a happier time.

The next day I’m dead before I see either of them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *“We should have made our different beliefs clear to each other before we got married.” = we aren't as well matched as i thought, i think our marriage was a mistake aka the last 15 we've spend building a life together was a waste and i hate your bitch ass cunt  
> “You’re right,” = yup


	3. Jean - The doughnut giveaway aka we can't be friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> about when they were kids before anything much happened  
> also i'd like to remind yall of how mikasa was before her parents died, yaknow happy and shit...  
> i've tried my best to sound like jean would as a kid, but yeah, it's not so fucking easy :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> Jean is *sigh* a kid and he doesn't like girls cause cooties so hes a bit ableist in his own childish way, he really just lives in the most binary world ever and it's kinda sad but his language is a reflection of his society so yeah, hes an ass and bratty, but like he doesn't know any better...he'll learn later, i promise... probably..... maybe......

Mommy had packed me two doughnuts from the bakery today. She told me I could give the other one to a friend if a wanted to. I don’t think so. Mommy’s food is so good its only for me. Or well… Maybe I’ll give it to Mikasa. She’s really pretty and always smiles and plays with everyone and me.

But she always likes to play with Eren the best even though he’s really stupid and boring, like all the girls. They only want to play dress up and when they agree to play hide and seek outside they always end up plucking flowers and make flower crowns and ruin _everything_ ! They just don’t get it.

The only really cool girl is Mikasa, because she plays with boys and girls the same. And she also runs slowly so I’m not always the first one to be caught in tag and when I am she doesn’t get annoyed when I tag her after, probably because all the boys run slow for her so she can get them easily.

Today is really warm and nice weather and we are playing outside everyone, and the grownups even took crayon and paper and dress up things outside to play with even though normally we cant take inside things outside. And now Eren and Bert are wearing Ariel and Poh-ka-honta dresses and playing tag with Reiner, Annie, Krista and Sasha and Connie. Marco and Armin are playing with a frog and a snail because they are weird and gross and Ymir is sitting with Mikasa by where all the dandelions are. I think it’s really nice of Mikasa to not run away from Ymir cause she’s always a bully and stupid, but Mikasa maybe don’t know that.

She’s teaching how to make flower crowns. I think Ymir wants to make one for Krista. They are best friends. I wanna make a flower crown too, but I don’t know who I can give it to. To me or to Mommy I think.

“Hi,” The girls look up and Mikasa smile.

“Hi Jean,” She scoots over. They are sitting on a log. “Do you wanna make a crown ?”

“Yeah, how do you make one ?”

It’s not as easy as I thought it would be but I like doing it. I’m thinking I’ll give it to Mikasa now, maybe. I barely manage to finish when the grown-ups call together for lunch.

“Look, Mikasa,” I hold up the flower crown proudly and she inspects it quickly with a smile before taking it gingerly out of my hands.

“It looks good,” she says, before putting it on my head, “you’re a prince know !” she yells with a smile and runs over to the others. That was awesome. I run after her there and is only a little out of breath.

I sit next to her when we have lunch even though I usually don’t and on the other side of her is Eren in his princess dress. It’s weird that he’s a princess and I’m a prince. I would never marry him just because he’s a princess I shake my head to not think about marrying that stupid-face anymore and take out my lunch with the two doughnuts. I think mommy’s bakery is what makes me the most likable. It’s a bit weird, but whenever there’s lunch everyone always want to know what I have and then swap something ew with my cake. I don’t think I like that, but I’m not really sure.

Today I do hand Mikasa one of my doughnuts, she looks surprised but takes it with a small smile. But just as she gets it, Eren snatches it out of her hands and takes a bite, “thanks !” He yells and asks if Armin wants a bite too. He shakes his head and looks at me like he’s really uncomfortable and sorry. He shouldn’t be sorry, Eren should. I’m really mad at Eren. That wasn’t for him. I like Mikasa, I wanted to give her something nice, not Eren. “That wasn’t for you, Aron !” I said his name wrong on because he’s stupid.

“That’s not my name !” He yells back. I think he’s only yelling because I am, and he’s only getting angry because I’, yelling at him.

“That was for Mikasa.”

A grown-up butts in, “come on now, boys, no yelling, just eat your food.”

“Yeah, Jean, just eat your own food,” he says and takes one more bite from Mikasa’s doughnut, before she takes it back.

“I like to share with Eren,” she tries to make up for him.

“You wasn’t suppose to…” I pout.

 

After lunch Eren breaks my flower crown. Mikasa tells him that it was really mean and he cries a little bit and he says he’s sorry and I stop crying too, and Mikasa teaches him to make them and he makes a new one for me. It’s not as pretty as mine, but I like it better anyways. I don’t think he’s a stupid-face anymore and make him one too and we decide that we are both pretty princess and that princes can wear dresses and that I should wear Belle’s dress even if it doesn’t zip all the way. Eren says I can still be a great prince and it doesn’t matter that I’m a little bigger and slower than everyone else.

When Eren’s mum comes to pick him up she says we both look really handsome and that she wishes she could take a picture of us. She’s really nice and maybe Eren is kinda nice too sometimes.

When my dad comes to pick me up he doesn’t like that I am wearing a dress and gets angry. He says that a prince can’t wear a dress and that I shouldn’t be friends with Eren if he wears dresses. I don’t know why but that was really scary and sad.

The next day Eren asks if we should play dress up again and that Mikasa and Armin wants to be our knights. But I remember what my dad said, so I say no. He keeps asking me to play with him anyways until I push him so he falls over.

I didn’t mean to and I’m really sorry.

At Lunch I give him one of my mum’s cupcakes and tells him so. He says it’s okay and asks if we could still be best friends, and I tell him we can’t be friends at all. He doesn’t ask why, but gives me back the cupcake. Instead I give it to Marco, he is nice too, like Mikasa, and we become friends then.

I don’t talk much with Eren again. But sometimes we fight.

*

Eren never thought I could stand up for my beliefs and myself. He labelled me as an unprincipled coward before we even started school and since then we never got along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im expecting to update fairly soon with an older Jean :)  
> older jean and eren  
> u~uh :) :) :)  
> maybs ;) lol jkdon't count it too soon hah !
> 
> Also, i'd like to point out that i know how to spell pochahontas  
> (i also didn't google that^, so in fact this is a bit of a gamble and actually i have no idea if i spelt it correctly lel yey)
> 
> im not complaining here, but i am thoroughly amused that this fic has more subscriptions than it has kudos, like how lmao :o

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments bitches !!  
> also perhaps subsribe and bookmark if thats your thang ;^)


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